We’re
Engaged!!
OKcupid + Pizza = Love
WE FOUND EACH OTHER WHERE WE NEVER EXPECTED.
Just about when I give up on love, I meet a world traveler who I find myself traveling the world with a few months later.
At first, I am put off by Valerie’s elusiveness. I think: “Why does she have so many telephone numbers?” “Why are there so many digits?” “Why does she respond quickly by text, but never pick up when I call?” I am intrigued enough to ignore the red flags that would normally send me running. And gratefully so.
We meet in her neighborhood for what was supposed to be a quick meet and greet. Our conversation lasts for almost 3 hours.
The second time around, I swing by some random bar deep in the Village, just to meet her. It doesn’t matter that it’s a work day, and I that I’m driving in from Jersey. It doesn’t matter that I sit in traffic for hours. It didn’t even matter that I’m not the type of guy that likes bars. I just want to see Valerie. I remember trying to contain my excitement, but grin from ear to ear anyways.
Round three. She drops a bomb on me. I bring her out to celebrate her new job, and she tells me that it’s outside the country. What terrible news! It almost ends us right there, until she says “Qatar”. That’s where my younger brother Richard is moving, I remember. Didn’t I agree to come out there in September? And suddenly, Qatar doesn’t sound so far away.
Somewhere after the fourth date, I ask Valerie to be my girlfriend…for the summer.
The summer ends but we don’t.
September comes, and I travel to see the love of my life in Qatar…Richard too. I realize I love her and that I need her in my life right then and forever.
A few months later, I surprise Valerie with the marriage proposal I had been cooking up for months. There on top of a mountain in Japan, where once before I stood alone, I ask Valerie to marry me. She says “Yes!”
I am order and Valerie is chaos, and together we compliment each other perfectly.
I can’t wait to introduce her to the world as my wife.
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
~ St. Augustine ~
Around the world and he was in my own back yard.
Vance agrees to meet me on a whim at my local pizza joint, very romantic..
Vance agrees to meet me on a whim at my local pizza joint, Giovanni’s. I figure that if things go sideways, I already know all the escape routes.
There is something in Vance’s eyes, his tone, the fluid conversation that makes me trust him. There is instant relief that settles over me. And by the end of our date, I know that I’ll see him again.
I text Vance to come hang out with me. And like magic, he shows up. Vance follows my lead, half steps, quarter steps, and missteps to mixed Brazilian tunes at some teeny tiny bar deep in the Village. I admire his bravery. “Who the hell is this guy?” “Does he know who he’s messing with?”
Even though I want to stay in America, my job search lands me a gig in Qatar. And I respected Vance too much already to hide the truth. I surrender to whatever outcome comes with me telling him: “I’m moving out of the country.” I watch Vance sink deep in his chest. He takes a step back.
“I’m moving to Qatar,” I say.
“Qatar? My brother’s moving to Qatar,” Vance musters.
“This (&#%) is crazy! Ain’t nobody ever hear of no Qatar,” I think to myself. I mentally prepare for a Looney Tunes spiral-out type date. (Ya know? The kind of date where things just start growing progressively weirder because the cat’s out of the bag now, and the person you thought was cool is slowly revealing their light idiosyncrasies to be major personality defects.) If he has a “brother” moving to “Qatar”, then I’m Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
No spiral out. No Looney Tunes. Just normal Valerie and Vance conversation.
A few days later, the charming guy he is, Vance calls me to ask: “Will you be my girlfriend…until you leave?”
I leave at the end of the summer. But there’s no leave in our relationship.
Over the next coming months, Vance comes to visit Qatar twice, and like Santa Clause, he brings suitcases full of goodies for me and Richard, who also relocated to Qatar. (Did I mention that Richard is his real life younger brother?)
I am humbled and amazed at Vance’s intent on being present in my life. In our separate worlds, we spend our mornings and evenings together deep in conversation over the phone. Oddly, I miss him when we’re under the same roof and not communicating by phone. I call him sometimes from the downstairs coach.
Vance proposes to me in Hakone, Japan. It is the shock of my life. Moments before I am furious with him because instead of just breathing in the magnificent scenery with me, Vance wants to stop again to take yet another picture. He gets on one knee, and even then I don’t make the connection. If it weren’t for the video, I probably wouldn’t remember any of it. Vance pops the question. He cracks this tough girl into a thousand pieces, and there is nothing but a mushy weepy mess left barely standing. For perhaps four hours, I can only mutter, “What?”
Once before, I threw myself into the ocean and asked God to make me whole. I took faith in waiting–I was waiting for Vance. And I’m certainly glad I did.
This day I marry my friend, the one I laugh with,
live for, dream of, and love
This is only the beginning.
To be continued…
Bring your
Danceing
Shoes!
